Day 15 of the ParaGone Parasite Cleanse.

Like I said in this earlier post: Back Home, I am doing a Parasite cleanse. I think I was on day 3 or 4 when I wrote that post. I had from the beginning been passing parasites but kept thinking they were noodles. I have been trying to stay away from sugar and wheat (part of the cleanse they recommend) and had been eating a lot of Vietnamese food.

It took me 4 years to do this because I kept thinking it would require this GIGANTIC diet change. I just didn't want to do it. I was a Vegetarian for 17 years and a vegan for 4 of those. And now I eat what I want (organic, rgbh free, pesticide and antibiotic free). Really, I eat much better now than I ever did as a chemical vegan. Do y'all know what that is? You would be surprised at what they can substitute real food with and it becomes vegan. Now, I don't eat it if I don't know what it is. At first I did good with the no wheat and sugar, and then I gave up the ghost. Ate whatever i wanted, and guess what? The cleanse still seems to be working.

I have about 2-3 bowel movements a day and what I thought were noodles, were in fact worms. I have passed things that look like chunks of tomato, and sesame seeds (i do not eat sesame seeds, i am allergic) and i have passed weird rubbery things, and also lots of flukes, which just look a lot like wet shavings. Also, all of my poops have been very effervescent. And green. Very dark green. I read somewhere that maybe its a lot of bile coming out of my liver. Sounds good to me.

I have decided that while it freaks me out to realize (AND I KNEW FOR 4 YEARS THAT I HAD A PARASITE INFECTION) that these things have been living inside of me for that long (maybe longer). I am also really happy getting them out. This is my last day before my 5 day hiatus (supposedly to let the eggs get laid or hatch or die off, or something. NOT SURE). Then i am going to do it again at full strength for 15 days more. If at that time I am still passing these things, I am going to get another box and keep going until it stops. They say you can do this for 3 months, and after my planned cleanse it will only be a month.

With all this cleansing, I want to do a Liver Cleanse next (and i'm trying to figure out which one to do because I REALLY DON'T WANT TO DRINK OLIVE OIL). But really, I don't have to do the "best" one, i should just do it because really! anything helps!

I am planning on moving away from New Orleans. Not sure where. A lot of dawning has come to light. As in it dawned on my that I do not live in a playground, I live in a war zone. It dawned on me that only 3 of my old friends still live here. It dawned on me that I would rather live somewhere else where I don't get cat called every time I step out the gate.

So once I leave New Orleans guess whats gonna happen? A heavy Metal Cleanse and I am making Chris do this one too because guess what? Its heavy metal. Little bad joke there. Do you know how much lead is in my house, or in the soil here? I don't even want to go there. I've been trying to collect non-metal cookware (besides cast iron because that is good for you!), plates that are enameled after the 70s (gotta really throw mine away even though they are so charming and old), and i haven't drunk the water in about a year.

I've got a lot of damage to repair but i do have to say that this parasite cleanse has done wonders for my mood! Really! It's almost like i'm my old self again. I hope I will be able to blame everything on parasites, and the amount coming out of me. I might just. xo

well, rookiemag it was a good run.

I have to say that rookiemag ushered in my second teenagehood, but that it is over. Rookiemag is no longer the really poignant place it was a year ago. I mean, come on guys, Haunted is the October theme? You really couldn't get any less obvious than a kindergarten teacher.

Oh well. All good things come to an end and I am moving on.

I will treasure the Rookie Yearbook one for years to come, but i've graduated.

I am tired of being a target

my boyfriend is privileged, and because he is privileged he is ignorant. There is only so much you can tell someone. they have to learn it on their own, but because some people have money they will never be in the situation to learn. thats all there is to it.

after pizza night, at 11 pm when i am biking home by myself because he wants to hang out, unwind and drink. i hold my chain in my hand. some of my friends, mostly ladies, drive. they dont want to be held up at gun point and more importantly, dont want to be raped.

sometimes i think i need to read the crime blotter to chris every day so he knows what is going on around him. instead of whatever he thinks is, or doesnt even think about at all.

it feels good when i come home, and i am here alone and the neighbor is not screaming or the neighbors neice's baby is not crying, and it is quiet.

It feels like it is just me and lady here, and i feel safe because i live in a gated place with windows that dont open and a door that locks well and is metal. this is when i like living here. mostly because i can keep it whatever temperature i want, and i have all the things i need, and if i dont, i can order them from the internet.

I stand around at pizza night and i think, yes there are definitely a handful of people that i like and want to see.

is that enough to be scared for my life? Is that enough to live in a toxic environment and a violent one with a person who does not acknowledge it? And in that non-acknowledgment does not stand up for me or help me fight it or help me figure a way out of it. Instead he just moves about on his same old, luckily avoiding being a target in any way while i battle it everyday. i am tired of being a target.

it gets tiresome.

two pictures

end of summer not so madness.

Back Home

Being back home rules. I mean it. I've been checking off the list that leads to a sister wedding dress done in 3 weeks. I haven't left the house except for a trip to the doctor and a few bike rides and I have to say its been great. Im also on day 4 of a parasite cleanse.

I've pretty much needed to do this for 4 years. It's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be, bloating, pooping, etc. Seeing as whenever i come back to new orleans some intense amount of tiredness overtakes me, its not really messing with whats important.

number one: dress. dress is most important.

2: cleanse

3: eating right (which on the parasite cleanse they say no wheat or sugar) which i just cannot abide. im sorry. Yes, i am a product of the 21st century. I like bread made of wheat and i like cookies. a lot. pizza. what is wrong with pizza? really can you tell me? I don't understand why it is so bad for you. cheese bread tomatoes veggies. yummy.

4: letting my heart and mind wonder all over the information web. watch movies, daydream, write about my daydreams, really tap into my brain heart conundrum, get angsty if thats part of it, and just generally get the space to not question desires and actions. I do what i want. (except for bathing, right now i am too scared of the brain eating amoebas in the water supply.)

5. being active. I downloaded this app on my smart phone called Sworkit. Yoga, stretching, different strength training moves. Great. love it. Going to use it. In conjunction with Ekhart Yoga on youtube. I need to slowly come up to doing some circuit training because i did a 20 minute workout in jersey and it destroyed me for 4 days! I mean it.

Rikki Tikki Tavi and Donovan

Songs inspired by children's literature. I want more.