and my dream world

In my dreams i am still feeling things i haven't felt in years. in my dreams i rage, i cry, i dance, i worry, i feel alone. and then i wonder, is it that i have let my dream self run ammock, that i in my waking life let the past be present and in my dreams i am reenacting it over and over again. acting as if i am still there in my dreams.

do you one day, realize that your past is gone? Do you realize that you can shape your dream world? Do you have the ability to not be psychically affected by scenes that never existed but evoke such strong memories of things you want to forget or forgive and yet cant?

Can dreams become more real than your reality? I feel like i am slipping somewhere in between, that i am going truly mad. That i can't hold on nor understand what is happening now or yesterday.